A few weeks ago I saw this meme on facebook:
‘Once you connect with yourself, it is impossible to feel lonely or desperate’
~ Bryant McGill
What do you think?
True or false?
My first response was laughter. ‘Ahhh, the naivety of someone who’s never sat with their loneliness’.
[I’ve since looked McGill up, and actually his work is much deeper than this quote implies – the danger of a single meme!]
Because the truth is, once you connect with yourself, it’s impossible NOT to feel lonely or desperate. That’s WHY we don’t connect in the first place. That’s why facebook is a multi-million dollar business. That’s why chocolate and alcohol are so popular. That’s why we’re all so intimate with Netflix.
Because these are all such wonderful ways to avoid feeling our feelings. That’s all an addiction is – an attempt not to feel. And we’re all addicted to something. I’m addicted to Facebook and dreams of the future.
But when I peel my finger away from the mindless scroll, when I stop my dreaming in its tracks and make that always-difficult decision to sit with me, with now, do I sometimes feel lonely? Of course.
Angry? Uh-huh. Stones in my belly, heaviness at the back of my heart, a shard of glass down the left side of my throat.
There have been moments when the pain was so intense I honestly wondered if my body could take it.
And there have been moments when at the very centre of sorrow I have experienced deep, orange joy.
And, yes, there have been moments when the loneliness turned to a sweet, small child sleeping softly because she felt heard and loved. Because I’d sat and held her and rocked her and stroked her hair by the fire. Because I’d let her know that in truth, she wasn’t alone.
And so I understand the glimpse of truth in this statement. That when we sit with our loneliness, we realise we are no longer lonely, because we are not alone. We are with. With ourselves. With God. With everyone else who has ever felt lonely.
But first – first we must feel the loneliness.
Click here to tweet: “When we sit with our loneliness, we realise we are no longer lonely, because we are not alone. We are with. With ourselves. With God. With everyone else who has ever felt lonely. But first, first we must feel the loneliness.” ~ @KateWolfTweets
Otherwise, whatever spiritual practice we are practicing is simply another way to take us further away from ourselves. Another distraction, in attractively ‘Spiritual’ clothes. Possibly another addiction.
I would go as far as saying this: if your spiritual practice is making you feel less, instead of more – it’s not working.
In my upcoming workshop, Spark Your Soul Fire, we will cover How to Feel it All… without Feeling Overwhelmed – so you can play your part at this pivotal time on Earth.
Sign up here to make sure you hear about Spark Your Soul Fire when I announce it.
Photo Credit: Omar Tursic on Unsplash
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